14 months...

Dear Cassius,

So much has happened in the last month! 

You started walking!  So cute!  It started with 2-3 steps, but now you are up to 10 steps or so. 

You keep adding words to your repertoire!  You now say affe (giraffe), fant (elephant), eat/at (eat), shuuuz (shoes), dada, ish (fish), ease (please), aseeas (gracias), caca, duh or guh (dog), guh guh or some version of it (Sibley).  You try to repeat many things... such as light, fan, and just about whatever else you can point at but we haven't figured out what you are saying just yet.  

You keep adding signs to go along with those words.  You now sign: giraffe, elephant (kinda), eat, please, more, all done, kitty, and bird. 

You started singing!  Just yesterday, Eliza said that you started signing and singing "Twinkle Twinkle" with Lynn at music time.  My gosh you are cute!

You love craft time and get so excited to do crafts with Eliza. You loved our Thanksgiving trip to the aquarium.

Some thoughts from your dad (with added notes from mama):

We really appreciate your new night time diapers.  We appreciate that you do not soak through them in the night and that as a result, you sleep longer.

We are glad you know how to point, if only you knew what you really wanted with the object at the end of that finger.  Everything is "at" (as in: what's that?)

Today, your parents loan got funded for our new house!  We are moving to Pleasant Hill so that you can have a yard to run around in, a street/court to ride your bike in and a school to attend that is safe and will challenge you to go to college.  We are sad to leave Oakland and our house (afterall, you were born in the dining room) but we are ready to move on.  We hope to see all that Downtown Pleasant Hill has to offer and we hope you enjoy it!

You are more and more our little boy everyday.  You continue to amaze us and make our hearts melt each and every day.  We hope you can kick your stubborn cough soon.

We love you.

Mama and Dada

13 months

Dear Cassius,

13 months!  Holy wow!  I can't believe we are already at 13 months.  Now I have to tell people that you are 13 months, you are not just 1 year.  You are growing every day, learning, becoming more brave and more stubborn too!

Your words are picking up like crazy.  Today you said "ish" (fish).  Yesterday you repeated "zoo" but I don't thnk you knew what it meant. You officially call dada by name.   You love to point out cats and pumpkins and scarecrows.  In the morning, when you wake super early, we pull you into bed with us.  You love to look at the book about not getting out of bed (ironic, really) and point out the "woof-woofs".  You've also just added on the cats and the birds.

Last night we were at your Oma and Opa's (Opa asked to be called that last night) and you got to open your present from them for your birthday.  It was a cool ride-on firetruck and you loved it!  You love pushing the buttons to make sounds/lights and you love when your Oma pushes you around.

It's so fun watching you grow and add on new words and see you understand more and more about life. 

I love you.

Mama

No photos for you!

Dear Cassius,

Your mom has been a lazy mom lately and all your photos from the last 4 months are on the cameras and not on the computer.  One day, I'll upload them but not right now.

Thanks for understanding.

Love,

Mama

1 year! (and 1 month)

Dear Cassius,

You are officially 1 year old (and have been for a month, but who's counting?).  I can't believe it's been a year.

You change and grow every day.  Hmmmmm... Where are you now?

At your 1 year appointment, you weighed 23 lbs, 9 oz (63rd percentile) and measured 31 inches (86th percentile).  You got one shot and screamed at the doctor.

You are communicating more and more every day.  As of today, you sign: more, all-done, cat, and bird.  You point to indicate where you want to go.  You wave bye-bye.  You blow kisses on cue.  You will give a fish a kiss on cue (but you've only given me a kiss like 5 times, you little stinker!).  You say: woof-woof and dog (sounds like "doh" or "og") reliably.  You call Sibley "guh guh (good girl)."  You'll occasionally said dada for your dad but no mama yet.  Your first word (dog) came just a few days shy of your first birthday as you saw a dog walk by the house.

Just this week, you basically communicated in sentence form.  You signed more, pointed at the door and waved bye-bye.  I asked you if you wanted to go to Eliza's and you said yes.

You are still crawling and show very little interest in walking.  You are standing more and more on your own each day.  It's so cool to see that you are adding seconds to your solo stand time each day.  You will occasionally walk with me if I'm holding your hand but most time you just drop to your knees as if to say "this is so much faster."

You are obsessed with feeding the dog treats.  You say "guh guh" the second we walk into your room in the morning (and after naps) and point towards the door (or the cup with treats on your dresser).  Then you direct us to the laundry room door and then to the treats.  You love to have her "touch" your hand.  This week I showed you the dog door and we got Sibley to go through it together, so now you are obsessed with having her go through the door. 

You are quite the whiner.  If you don't get your way, you throw quite the tantrum.

You loved to be chased.  You love "I'ma gonna getchu!".  You love "1! 2! 3!"  You love to be tickled, especially when I squeeze your little thighs.

You still love to eat.  You still love to be out and about.  You still love Here Come the 1, 2, 3's.  

Your birthday party was small and perfect. You didn't really know what to do with the cupcake that your grandma made you.  I think you were just happy that all those that you love were there, even Mimi and Karsyn! 

This first year of your life has been absolutely amazing.  I love being your mom and look forward to future years together.

I love you.

Mama

11 months

I wrote this letter back in September but didn't post because I wanted the photos to coincide.  Well, I still haven't got the pictures (I have to get more memory for my computer) but I wanted to post the letter

Dear Cassius,

Less than a month left before you are 1... HOLY COW!  Time sure has flown by fast.  I can hardly remember those itty bitty days because these days, well, they are just fun.  Every day I get to spend with you is fun.  It's fun watching you grow and learn.  It's fun watching your demands and signs.  It's even fun watching you poop!  Did I really just type that???

Since I'm actually writing this (mostly) on time, I'm only going to recall the last few days and pick out some of my favorite moments.

On Friday, I picked you up from Eliza's and your dad came home shortly after.  We raced up and down the block towards each other and you laughed such hearty laughs.  Saturday you spent the day with your dad.  He taught you to motorboat onto your arm.  You are pretty good at it, but your dad is the best.  Sunday was a family day and the day you actually decided to start the day darn early... like around 6:15am early.  We had a lazy morning of hanging around the house and we took a little trip to our local park.  You proceeded to eat the plastic little thingies on the ground when you dove face first into the grass, so I made us leave.  You took a nice nap, we had some snacks and then headed out to Top of the World with Sibley.  I wore you out to the view in the backpack and your dad wore you on the way back.  You were a happy little clam, just taking it all in.  Your dad spotted a fox and managed to get a few photos... so cool!  Your dad watched football and I took a nap while you napped... All in all, it was a great day.

Today, at Trader Joe's you squealed in delight and a guy working there said "Whoah!" but I just gave you a kiss... it was just a happy little squeal!  You loved the chocolate covered blueberries at Peet's (I ate off most of the chocolate- sorry!) but didn't so much like the candied ginger...

We also went to a park to play with Brooke (who's about to have a baby, anyday) and Kara and Maddie.  You are so stinkin' cute- eating your plum, cruising around, giving me hugs and hanging out.  You did try to steal several of Maddie's toys, but you did your share of sharing too.  Right now, you're just snoozing in your crib.  You are such a great sleeper and really make my life pretty easy in that regard.

Let's see... anything new with you??

You sign more and up and potty/poop (occasionally).  You pooped on the potty today (first time in several weeks- but yeah!).  You eat just about anything.  You give great hugs.  You are starting to bite which is not cool.  Apparently you left some nice "oh's" on Sam's shirt on Friday.  You love to take the DVD's and Atari games from under the TV.  You are obsessed with the refridgerator.  One time we even found you trying to drink directly from the Hershey's syrup bottle!

Spending time with you is so much fun.  Haven't I said that a million times already??  But it is.  I look forward to each day with you, even if we don't get to spend a lot of time together.  I know I tell you about a hundred times each day, but I love you.

Love,

Mama

10 months

Dear Cassius,

I wrote this about 2 weeks ago.... forgive me for not publishing until now.

Just yesterday, you transformed... from a baby to a I-don't-know-what-this-next-stage-is-called-before-Toddler.  When I went to pick you up from Eliza's you crawled to me a different boy.  You looked older, you've started to communicate, you're huge!  Your dad called me at work the day before and told me that you signed "More" as in more yogurt and it melted my heart just hearing that you are learning but then yesterday, I saw it.  You signed more as we were laughing and giggling.  I was bouncing you around and asked if you wanted more.  You put your sweet little hands together and made the sign.  Oh how my heart melted!!  Eliza also said that you saying "no" and "aya" as in all done with her.  As we walked home, we saw the airplane in the sky and as I signed airplane and said "avion" you tried to say it too.  You are starting to communicate! That's not to say that you don't still do your fair share of whining, but it's getting better, I see the light at at end of the "whining because I can't tell you what I want" tunnel.  Holy Cow!!

You are ever so sure of yourself crawling.  In fact, you prefer to crawl.  When I try to walk with you, you just push me away and get on the ground and crawl.  You can get there much faster that way apparently and you know it.  You have the cutest peg-leg crawl.  Your right knee doesn't touch the ground, yet you push yourself forward perfectly. 

You are quite adventurous with your food.  In the last week, you tried sauerkraut, hot and sour soup and carnitas.  You seem to love it all.

You are still a rockstar sleeper when you are at home.  You're like clockwork.  Down at 7pm-ish and up at 7:02am.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you. 

That's not to say that you aren't thrown off when we travel.  We got to experience Lake Tahoe in your last month and I got to experience walking to Nevada at 6am.  That's because you decided to wake up at 5:30am and we were with a whole bunch of other people.  So you and I and our new handy backpack made the trek down to the local Starbucks and over the Nevada line.  We went to another state and back by 7am!  I have to say.... it was actually pretty cool and you were a happy baby once we were out and about. 

I'm pretty sure I end my letters with my adoring love for you but I can't help it.  You teach me so much every day, baby boy.  You teach me to have fun.  You teach me to laugh and go with the flow.  You teach me a love even greater than I could have ever imagined. 

I love you.

Mama

9 months...

Dear Cassius,

You've officially been out as long as you were in and I'm uber late in writing you this letter. 

You got to spend your 9 month birthday at Witch Lake!  We spent 3 awesome weeks at the lake with family.  You giggled and screamed and scooted and learned to crawl at Witch Lake.  You didn't really like the water in the lake, but loved playing in your little pool on the deck.

Before that, you got to meet your cousins down state.  I have to say that I think Andy is your favorite.  He visited Witch Lake and is all kinds of goofy!  He made you squeal with laughter.  Once you got a bit of attention from Andy, you would scream at him if he left the room or stopped paying attention to you.  He greeted you every morning and wanted to say good night every night!

You weigh close to 21 lbs and are 29.5 inches long.  You still have 2 teeth on the bottom and 0 on top, but that top right tooth is just about to come through. 

You love to eat, most of the time.  You especially love chicken and turkey and will eat a ton!  You still feed yourself most of the time and prefer that to being spoonfed, especially when you are tired. 

You just started day care with our neighbor down the street.  You seem to love it and barely noticed that we even left you on your first day there.  On days you aren't in day care, you are spending it with your dad.  He likes to keep you busy (and you are much more pleasant to be with when you are out and about) so you guys have a constant stream of activities.

You are sleeping like a champ now that you are home.  The last few nights you have slept from 7pm until at least 7am, sometimes almost until 8am!  Rockstar!

You still love music of any kind.  You still love clapping and know what to do when we sing the clapping song or when we ask you to clap.  You are also waving hi and bye though sometimes it's a few minutes after we ask.

You are sort of giving hugs and those are the best.  Sometimes, when I pick you up, you'll give me a quick squeeze around the neck and it's so cute!

It's been a challenge and joy these first 9 months but you remain the light of my life. 

Love you little man,

Mama

8 Months!

Dear Cassius,

Time if flying by!  I'm actually closer to your actual month birthday this time, or maybe it just seems like it because I've been so busy.  But it's not about me, this is about you!

You are now 8 months old and, for all intents and purposes, mobile.  Just today, you learned how to push yourself back into sitting after you've reached forward and landed on your belly.  You are really, really rocking on your hands and knees.  You have just started to lift one hand and then the other (though you don't go anywhere).  The knees are next and I'm expecting it anyday.

This morning, before I left for work, I left you in one place on the rug and when I walked back in the room, you had moved over to the drum, then to the books and then were heading off somewhere else.  Watch out!

You are still eating like a rockstar.  Tonight you had your first taste of Uncle Yu's and your first bite of beef.  Of course, it was your father's favorite: Mongolian Beef.  You loved the fried rice, you even liked the mushrooms and asparagus.  You power down pretty much anything.

You still sleep like a rockstar though earlier in the week you were waking at 5:30 ready to party.  Not cool, kid, not cool.

Your smile is contagious, your clapping hands are adorable. You are the light of my life.

Mama

and just for the record... 1 year ago, you were:

7 months

Dear Cassius,

You are now over 7 months old and you change everyday.  Just today you slept for over 2.5 hours for a nap.  That's a first!  I took advantage and squeezed 2 hours in there as well.  Thanks little man.

You officially have 2 teeth (bottom front).  You got your first one 2 days shy of turning 7 months and the second one creeped in there about a week later.  Maybe it's because you have always been a little fussy, but we didn't notice any difference when the teeth were coming in.  You are still a super drooler and continue to drool like crazy, even though it appears that those two teeth are the only ones coming in right now.

Your dad has been taking care of you all day on Saturdays recently as I started my soon to be full time job and work on Saturdays now.  You guys do all kinds of things.  For his/your first true Saturday together, you went to your second Giants baseball game with Jeff and Haven.  The Giants won and you were a rockstart.  

You sit like a champ and are starting, just starting, to scoot with your butt.  Just this morning I sat you on your toosh in the crib and you were bouncing up and down.  You didn't get anywhere, but it was damn cute.  You have also started to move over your legs as you are sitting.  You haven't gotten anywhere but occasionally you'll topple over onto your belly.   You can lift your belly off the ground when you are on your belly but haven't figured out the leg thing yet. 

You are a regular morning pooper.  You go to sleep like a champ.  You just started to sleep until 6am but then you are up... but only for about 1 hr and then it's back to sleep.  Just last weekend, your dad and I took you to a party at Chuck and Marby's for Casey's 30th birthday and you were great!  You were a real charmer and then you charmed your mom!  You fell asleep in their office, on the floor and transfered just fine to and from your carseat and into your crib. 

You eat like a champion.  You even feed yourself those puff thingies and the teething biscuits.  You've now tried cottage cheese, yogurt, chicken, turkey, and today, you tried some bread for the first time.  Generally on the first try you make a funny face, but by the second or third time it's served, you are all game.  Your favorite right now appears to be kale and rice.  Grandma Miller would be proud!  You also tried a lime the other day and made the cutest face!  It was a bit tart, but you kept wanting more. 

You and I are just about done breastfeeding.  It makes me a bit sad, but you are happy bottle baby.  You squeal in delight when I bring you a bottle. 

You weighed 19lbs the other day but we'll get your official weight next week. You surprisingly still fit into some 6 month clothes.

You still love music.  Your dad plays the guitar to you almost every day.  You've started to experiment with playing the drum and the tamborine. 

You love to sit on the kitchen floor as your dad is getting ready.  You chew on all kinds of things, but your favorite is the spatula. 

Your dad took you to the park and you got your first swinging session in.  You loved it!  You also go to the Berkeley Warm Pool on many Fridays.  Your dad is more patient with the silly songs than I am, so he usually takes you.  You love to splash in the water. 

You are quite the flirt and smile huge smiles for some women (and some men too) but for others it's a straight face.  You are too funny.  You love to be out and about and you elicit smiles from just about everyone. 

Your hands and feet are constantly going.  You open and close your fists and your feet are often twirling in circles.  It makes me smile just thinking about it.   You also just started to clap.  You've always loved it when we clap for you and now you can clap for yourself.  It's too cute!

You also whine.  A Lot.  In fact you are whining now... so I must end your letter.

Love you,

Mama

Mom Swim Suit

We've been taking Cash to the Berkeley Warm Pool for the past couple of weeks.  The first week I went I just threw on my swimsuit (that I have had for ages... I'm too embarassed to tell the story on the internet) and then I realized.... it really has no support. 

So I went on a hunt for acute non Grandma but decent for a mom with some deflated boob suit (for under $75 none the less!).  I looked at a bunch of places, but found one at TJ Maxx.  Here it is:

http://base0.googlehosted.com/base_media?q=http://www.actionoutdoors.net/images/products/1122282.jpg&size=17&dhm=e2715ac7&hl=en

But, I really wanted something cute.  The above is functional, and not half bad, but it's far from cute.  Simple is giving away a suit from Lime Ricki Swimsuit- and they are cute!!!!  I think I want this one:

http://www.limericki.com/graphics/LR-071-1PC-SAMANTHA_FULL.jpg
 

6 months

Dear Cassius,

You are 6 months old!  1/2 a year! Holy shit! Your parents survived an entire six months!

You keep getting bigger and better and cuter and more loveable and more squishy and more, more, more! every day!  You are shrinking in your height/weight/head percentiles but Dr. Bean says that's normal. You've gone from being ginormous to being middle of the road.  It's kinda nice not having to explain that you look like a 6 month old when you are only a month.  Now, you just look a 6 month old.  Kinda nice!

Just for posterity... you were 27. 75 inches tall, 17lbs 14oz with a head circumference of 43 at your 6 month checkup.

Let's see what else is new:  You sit up like a champ.  You do fall occasionally but not very often anymore.  You can even kareen your neck around to find either me or your dad (or grandma or the cat) without falling.  You still love to stand on your feet with our support.

You've also started to snuggle.  It's the best.  Just yesterday, you were getting kinda sleepy (read: cranky) so I picked you up and snuggled you.  You just put your little head on my shoulder and settled in while I sang to you.  It was pure heaven for me.  And then last night, you fell asleep on the bottle tucked up into my arms.  You looked so peaceful and content. 

Let's see...what else happened:  You went to a San Francisco Giant's game with your dad while he was on Spring Break (you guys had a blast!).  You went to your first swim class at the Berkeley Pool (you loved it!)  You've expanded your food repetoire 10 fold.  You have now tried the following: bananas, avacados, artichokes, watermelon, squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, celery, kale, sorrel, pears, apples, oatmeal, rice cereal, peas, broccoli, papaya, orange, and pineapple.  You definitely prefer the vegetables over the fruit (weird- you must take after your father).  The sorrel is the funniest!  Your dad grows sorrel in our garden.  He was pulling it out the other day and you just grabbed a piece and started to eat it.  It's so sour, but you were just chomping on the stalk.  Apparently, you squealed in delight at the sight of food yesterday.  That was previously reserved for my boobs, so I'm a little sad, but also glad that they are becoming less and less of interest to you.

Alas, I'm typing this as you are napping.  You have become a great napper for the most part and your sleep at night is quite rock star...so Thank You!

I need to get ready for work.  It's your dad's 31st birthday today!  Happy Birthday Daddy!

Love you,

Mama

Drool Bucket

I felt inspired to post a picture of you, but I really don't know what to write...

You drool, a lot. 

Love,
Mama

Visitor...

Aunt Flo arrived this week for a visit.  I hadn't seen her in about a year.  I also hadn't seen her accomplice Tammy in over a year.  Can't say that I really missed them but I guess those are the ropes.  It also means Connie will be always be ready and waiting in our bedroom because we are not ready for another Cassius. 

A Gardner Says...

"If I go at this right now, I think I can desimate this population!"

Matt Peters, at 10:07 on Monday night, with not one by two headlamps on his head.  He's referring to the snails. 

A few fun facts for you, Cassius

* You peed on the potty twice yesterday!  (You've pooped a couple of times in the past, but peed for the first time!)
* I think I saw that you can roll your tongue yesterday.  Your dad and I both can roll our tongues but Mimi Tanner can not.  It's so much cooler to be able to roll your tongue.
* You almost rolled over the bathtub today and got a whole face full of water.  You didn't freak out too bad!
* You are starting to love to eat and look forward to it (new in the last week or so!)

You are so incredibly cool (and cranky on occasion!).  Love you!

Mama

5 months

Dear Cassius,

Five months! Really?  Already?  Yep.  Sure thing.  You are now over 5 months old and you continue to amaze me.  Let's see.. where are you now....

Right now you are sleeping, so we'll start with that.  You are starting to sleep like a champ (atta boy!!!).  You wake up at least once during the night to eat, but that's slowly going away.  You wake up a few other times too and sometimes (but not every time) you can get yourself back to sleep.  Your dad has been playing the part of "HeroDaddy" and going up to check on you.  He's doing a great job.  You are pretty darn consistent with a 6am wake up to feed.  That's one of my favorite times of the day because your dad brings you into our bed, you nurse and then we both fall back to sleep together.  We've been known to sleep past 9am if your dad is really quiet!

You are also starting to nap in your crib.  It all started with the intro of the lovey and it led to 2 long naps today!  You seem to prefer napping in there to the stroller or carseat now, which I think is a good thing.  You still love to be worn but you seem to prefer to look out.  Just today I wore you on my back on our walk and you seemed to dig it, until you fell asleep.

You still love being outside.  It will soothe you almost every time.  You've been hanging out on our newly sodded lawn and with your dad outfront.  You guys check out all the plants together.  Today you watched Sibley play with her ball in the grass and were completely blowing your dad off.  He was trying to sing to you, to tap your toes, anything... but you were fixated watching the dog.

You also love music.  Your Papa Ron loves to sing to you and you love to listen to him.  His newest song is "Shake, Rattle and Roll".  It sent you into giggles and Grandma caught it on video.  I can usually get you to giggle by flying you in the air and twisting you back down.

A couple of weeks ago, your dad was feeding you some solids (sweet potatoes, I think) and he got the giggles because you were trying to put the spoon in your mouth but were getting it everywhere but in your mouth.  He couldn't stop himself and you started to giggle too.  It was so freaking cute!

You kinda stopped rolling over from your belly to your back but you are almost rolling from your back to your belly.  You just haven't figured out how to move that last arm.  You are grabbing anything and everything.  We really have to watch you when you sit in your chair because you'll grab anything within reach (and your reach is bigger than I'd expect).  You are almost sitting.  You can sit for a couple of seconds, but then you topple over.  You do sit for quite awhile but you're all hunched over. 

Your new food faves are sweet potatoes.  We have started to use that to mix with other foods.  We're on to squash now which you seem to like most days. 

Your Mimi came to visit you this past weekend.  She didn't want to put you down.  I'm not sure Vic got a chance to hold you much.  We walked at Top of the World and a reporter took our picture.  I'll let you know if we make the headlines :)

You continue to light up my life everyday.  That first morning smile melts my heart. 

Love you little man,

Your Mama

Job Drama

I stink at writing things as they are/were happening.  I'm always a week behind, after the shit has hit the fan and dried up on the floor.  But I don't want to forget what life was all about for just a short period of time... so here goes the job drama that ensued last week and will continue this week (I think).

My dream job came up in January- the Animal Care and Adoptions Manager at the shelter where I work.  It's a great combo of my loves- supervising, working with animals, working with volunteers and instituting change.

But the drama comes in the timing.  Cash is just 5 months old and I've got a sweet gig going on right now with my dog training business and my work at the shelter.  Combined with watching Cash (and a neighbor baby in trade for daycare), I kinda have the best of both worlds.  I get to work, but I get to spend a lot of time with my kid and my hubby.

Lots of dramatic conversation with mom's group members, with my mom and sister and with Matt ended with my application.  But once the interviews start (if they do), then the drama will continue.

If this was even 1 year in the future, I would snap it up... but what to do, what to do??

Sleep, Glorious Sleep!

Dear Cassius,

In the past two days, you've figured out how to sleep.  THANK YOU! (and yes, that's screaming, and hooting, and hollering and jumping up and down!)

On Saturday, we went to a sleep class and apparently it was just what we needed to get the job done.  That night, you slept for 10 hours.  You woke up once and "Hero Daddy" went up to check on you just a few times before you put yourself back to sleep.  You completely skipped your typical 1:30 am feeding and you skipped your 4:30 am feeding!  Holy Shit Batman!

Then, last night, you did it again!  But this time, you slept until 5:30, ate a bite and then slept in until 7:30.  That's 12 hours!  "Hero Daddy" went in once around 12:30 and didn't have to go back in... you are that good!

We've also started some nap training with you.  You are too funny since right at the 10 minute mark, you crash.  You've got your  new little lovie and you crash.  We're right about at the 45 minute mark, which is quite impressive.  Your previous clock was set to wake you at 30 minutes... no make that 32 minutes, give or take 30 seconds.  This 45 minute business rocks! 

Keep it up baby boy!  Keep it up!

Love you more and more (especially when I can sleep a bit!),

Mama

A great weekend

This weekend was awesome!  A bunch of little things but the best was tonight.  Matt was feeding Cash some sweet potatoes and Cash wanted to feed himself, so Matt let him have the spoon.  He couldn't quite get the spoon in his mouth on every try, so he would hit his eye, his chin, etc.  Matt started cracking up- a serious case of the giggles- and then Cash started to laugh too!  It's the first time he's laughed in relation to someone else laughing.

My kid is so freakin' cute!

4 months

Dear Cassius,

Just this Tuesday you turned four months. This last month has been a bit of a whirlwind.. you see, you are actually becoming a great little baby and not some terrible infant.

You smile more and more, you cry less and less (for the most part), you eat more and more, you sleep more and more, you move more and more and I love you more and more each and every day. I didn't know that was possible since I've loved you from before you were born, but I actually really like you. You are neat, spiffy, groovy and rad!

Let's see.. some specifics.

We just got back from the doctor. You weigh in at 16 lbs, 12.2 oz (90th percentile). You are 26.5 inches long (96th) and your head measures in at 42cm (51st). You are slowly coming down in the charts, which I have to say I'm quite happy about. From your measurements in the beginning, I was starting to think you'd be a giant...or that you'd grow up too fast. But you are slowing down just a bit... (though 90th percentile is still HUGE!) and I thank you for that. I kinda wanna keep you this size for awhile.

You are standing a ton now for several seconds, if not minutes, in my lap. You still love to watch Sibley where ever she goes/is. If you are unhappy and she comes into the room, you immediately stop crying and watch her. Unfortunately, I don't think she shares the same admiration just yet (but I'm betting when you start eating Cheerios, you'll win her heart). You rolled over from front to back a few weeks ago and just yesterday morning you started to twist while on your back so back to front rolls are not too far off. You sit really well when assisted and you love to sit in anyone's lap- it must make for a better vantage point. You love to suck on your fingers- specifically your right hand's thumb and your left hands pointer finger.  You love to look at yourself in the mirror after you take a bath and have the towel around your head- you smile, beaming, at yourself.  You love being out and about- walks, shopping, strolling. You tried rice cereal for the first time in the last month and I think I even snuck in avocados and a teeny bit of a coconut popsicle. You see, I thought you were ready since you intently watch us eat, but it turns out, you really just like our fingers in your mouth. We are off to buy you your own spoon soon. Oh, and you started a bit of formula this month too. It's still mixed with mama's mil, but it's helping you get full before bed because you just want to eat so damn much before you hit the sack!

This past week you started going to our neighbor's house one day a week. Her name is Lyndsie too, so I hope we don't confuse you. She has a little girl Haven who is just one day older than you. You two seem to get along pretty well and seem to enjoy your time together. She comes to your house for a few hours a couple days, so you get to see each other often.

We have started to call you Cashy Pupu Tray for no apparent reason, but this weekend we hope you get to experience your first Flaming PuPu Tray from Uncle Yu's. I'll let you know how it goes.

Cassius D, you are the joy in my life. I can't stop snuggling you (or cleaning out your ears). I can't stop melting when you smile. I love you.

Love,
Mama

PS.  You were quite serious for your 4 month photo shoot.

Snippets of my life...

*Cash is asleep right now, in his crib. He fell asleep completely on his own. I just put him in there, watched him smile at me for a bit, then left the room. 15 minutes later, I'm guessing he is asleep because I hear nothing.

Yup, just checked. He's conked out, with his little sheep nearby. My god, he's cute!

*Changing the sheets on the crib sucks. He's been in his crib for almost 3 weeks now (maybe longer) and I've kept meaning to change his sheets but I would only remember at nighttime, just as he was about to be put in the crib- not the ideal time to change the sheets. So I did it just before nap above and it sucks.

*If you aren't supposed to use bumpers, then why do they make them? Why do they come in sets with sheets? What if they get their hands/feet caught in the bars? I'm so annoyed.

*My kid wakes up to eat a full meal every 3-4 hours (sometimes 5) at night. Shouldn't he be sleeping longer?

*Cash is more fun, more smiley every day. It's awesome to start a new day with him.

*There is more to my life than the baby, but right now, I can't think of much outside of him. sigh

Roll Over Beethoven!

Cash rolled over! From tummy to back! My God he's CUTE!

A Follow Up to Ferber

We caved. We are not true Ferber advocates.  The first few days were okay, not horrible and they seemed to work.  Then the crying continued, and continued and it didn't get better.  Scratch the Ferber method- it wasn't working.  Or maybe it was, but I couldn't stand the crying for days on end.  I was willing to try it for a few hours for a few days... but then, no more, that's too much for a 3 month old.

So, we went to a more gentle method and it's working like a charm.  I think the increase in crying might have been due to a growth spurt but none the less, the gentleness is working better for us.

He still goes down like a rockstar.  We change him into pajamas, we read a book (if he's not demanding the boob) and then he nurses.  He nurses until he falls asleep or fusses to be done and then in the crib he goes (with a smooch on the forehead).  Tonight, he went into his crib wide awake (but sleepy) and he went to sleep in less than 5 minutes. The last few nights he's been waking between 1-3 times a night for full feeds and then back to sleep with barely a whimper. 

The "rule" is that he's allowed into our bed after 6am- to snuggle aka feed and fall back asleep. We love it.  We are getting decent sleep.  We love our little man (not that we didn't, but man, that sleep craziness is maddening!)

Giggle...

I haven't been able to pinpoint many of your first because they sneak up on me.  You started to smile around 5 weeks, but it was a half smile and it wasn't consistent... then 6 weeks came along and you started smiling all the time, but there wasn't really a first.  Same thing happened with your laugh.  You started to coo and make noises and a laugh was in there somewhere, but it wasn't necessarily elicited... but....

Yesterday, January 16th, you giggled for the first time.  The first occasion was on the changing table when I was tickling your belly and shaking your legs.  The second was playing peek-a-boo.  Your dad was holding you, facing out.  He'd turn you around so that you would see me and you'd giggle.  It was too cute!

The photo above is of Cash not giggling.  I woke him up from a nap in his crib because I was trying to take a picture of him reeeallly close up.  Bad mama.

Looking to feel guilty...a new mom's new worry?

Read Ask Moxie today and someone commented that they were glad they documented via a blog so they could remember those tough times (and the dates/times they happened).

Since last Friday, we've been working on sleep training with Cash (13 weeks/3 months).  Before then, we were starting to see patterns in the co-sleeper and in bed with us.  Matt was also starting to get concerned with space in the bed and that Cash might fall out/off when he was on the outside in order to feed on that side.  I was concerned because he would sleep for 5 hours, then wake every 1 or 2 after that to nurse back to sleep (even though I knew he didn't "need" the feeding).  Although I didn't mind sharing my space in bed, my back was starting to hurt from arching it when he kicked my legs (I hate my legs/feet being touched at night).

Friday was his first night in the crib and right now (it's Tuesday), the details are blurry (already).  I started to read Ferber on Sunday and on Monday night we started the "cry it out" method and actually followed it (and didn't cave and bring him to bed, or bounce him, or try to soothe him back to sleep).

Since I can actually remember the details of the night... here goes:
He wanted to go to sleep around 7:30, so we read a book (Good Night Gorilla) and he nursed.  I put him down asleep but he woke/stirred when I put him in the crib.  He stirred/whimpered for about 3-4 minutes and was asleep.  Score!  He slept like a champ- until about 11:30pm.  We let him cry, in his crib, only going in to comfort him on the progressive waiting approach (it ended up being up to about 20 minutes between comforting attempts because he would often quiet down for 3-4 minutes and then start back up again).  He cried (off and on) until 1pm.  Then I fed him (per his "normal" routine pre sleep training) and he put him back in his bed (he was passed out).  He slept until 4:20 or so and then woke crying.  Again, progressive waiting to comfort and he was back asleep by 5:10.  He woke (no crying, just a little whimper) at 7:15.  I went up to get him- and got the. biggest. smile.  Good Morning!

Tonight's the second night of hard core Ferber method, and it's going well.  I put him down (totally not asleep tonight, but we went through our night time routine, but he was being feisty with the boob) and he cried for about 6 minutes, and then he passed out.  It's now been 2 hours, and he's still asleep.

The funny thing is that I feel great.  I keep thinking I should feel guilt, I should be looking for or seeing signs that I am breaking trust with my child, that he is going to hate me or not want to be near me or something.  But I don't.  I feel like a new mom- invogorated and excited to be with my kid.  Excited for bedtime.  Excited for morning.  Even looking forward to that middle of the night feeding. 

I never thought I would be that parent who would let their child cry it out, let alone at 3 months old.  It's still too early to shout from the rooftops, but damn, I feel great about this.  Naptime is a  different story, but I feel confident that we can work on that too.... when he/we are ready.

Here's to many good nights and good mornings and good days.

3 months

Dear Cassius,

3 months seems like forever now.  You are growing more and more each day.  New movements, new laughs, and new cries (but they are still incredibly loud). 

You survived your first plane ride and your first visit to Iowa in December and you did great!  The plane trips were a piece of cake for you, but you aren't going to fit on my lap much longer.  You loved up on your Mimi Tanner and you were carried around a ton by Karsyn and Elle.

You are now sitting up a lot more.  You love to sit on my lap after eating and watch the world around you- especially if there are babies nearby.  You can sit up almost unassisted for a few seconds before you fall forward or to the side.  You just tried your Jonny Jump-up the other day and I think you really dig the new vantage point.  From there, you can watch your parents' crazy dances and your dog.

You are also moving your hands more and sucking on them.  You squeal in delight, you squeal to talk, and you babble a ton.  You had a doctor's appointment this morning and you rolled over when I put you on your tummy.  I'm not sure if it was because the table was slanted or what, but you did it with ease from both sides.  I'm putting you to the test when you get home. 

Speaking of getting home, you are now spending a few hours with Lyndsie and Haven each week in preparation for February when you are hopefully going to be spending a whole day there while I go to work.  You seem to like it.  I just hope you don't give Lyndsie too much trouble.

Your smiles are as big as ever.  You really, really love your mama right now... and for some reason, you seem to scream at your dad when your mom is around.  But if you are with him solo, you two have a great time together.

OH.... and big news!!!!  You started to sleep in your crib, in your room, all by yourself.  I'm not convinced we are there 100%, but you slept for most of the night last night in your room.   I hooked up the ipod and you listened to the likes of Norah Jones, Jerry Garcia and David Gray as you snoozed.  Your dad insisted we hang the 100 Dead Songs poster above your bed, so we did that last night.  Maybe you'll start having some psycadelic dreams soon?

Cassius, you are a joy in my life.  I love you more and more each day.  I think I can say that will be true for a long time to come.

With hugs and smooches to the cheeks,

Mama

PS.  15 lbs, 6 oz as of today- you are huge!

Babies 1st Holiday Season

So it's offcially the 3 month anniversary of your birth, and although I should be writing you your 3 month letter, I'm going to try to get caught up and recap the holidays, before they get a little blurry (and boy do things get blurry past 20 minutes (or 5 minutes) ago). 

Your first holiday season is one to remember (and you won't and I don't remember it all), but it was jam-packed.

We ventured to Iowa on your first airplane ride to see your Mimi and had all kinds of plans to see other people in your life, but the weather didn't cooperate. So you got to meet your cousins Karsyn and Kinley and you got to spend some time with Mimi, Vic an Elle.  You did manage to see Boots and Charlee but you slept through most of that.  You were carried around by just about everyone, including Karsyn (though you are practically half her size).  You trampled through the snow to walk the crazy dogs, you got your picture taken outside while huge, white, fluffy snowflakes danced around us, you fell asleep in your cousin's swing with your arms gripping the sides (it was too cute), you slept on an air mattress for the first time, and you opened your first presents (and you weren't interested in the slightest).

Our trip back to California was fantastically uneventful after all kinds of delays and issues, but we made it back and your schedule finally got back on track.  Brett and Jody arrived and the whirlwind of time with the family began.  You spent a full day with your Grandma Peters and Great Aunt Sheryl and a full day with your dad (and he loved every minute of it and raved how fun it was!) while I worked.  You went on a crazy hike (it was crazy long for your mom, at least) at Briones, you visited Uncle Yu's for the first time and you made it to Course #4 of New Year's Eve before your dad insisited that we go home.

You did get a few cool toys to play with and your toy "box" is nearly full... and that's about all I can remember.  Here's to a great 2010!