Grandparents and Good Byes

My grandparents had always been a part of my life.  I had all four of my grandparents when Matt and I met, at the age of 23, which was awesome.  With my Grandma Miller's passing last week, they are now all gone. 

While Good Bye's are hard for most, the good byes of my grandparents have all been "easy".  They were all at the end of their lives (all over 80, and all after failing health) and saying good bye really was a relief to end the suffering.

Cassius never got to "meet" his grandparents but he did get to Skype with his great grandma Miller in early December.  Maybe Skype will be old news when he is old enough to ask about them, but I still think its a cool memory. 

I think I'll try to write about each one so he can know of them through my memories.

2 months

 

Dear Cassius,

You are now 2 months old.  You are growing so much and are more fun each and every day.  You smile at both me and your dad on a regular basis... though your dad thinks you smile at me more (which I have to agree and it pleases me to no end!)

I can't lie- this newborn stuff is tough.  I think most people write all the positive things about their babies lives, but I'm going to be straight with you... and give you the good and bad, so that one day when you have kids, you can tell them about how difficult of a baby you were and will know that it's payback.  (PS.  Your dad was a needy/fussy child too, so we're getting the payback too!)

Things about you that generally drive us batty:

* You cry, really, really loud.  You are by far the highest decibel crier in any room with crying babies.

* You have a very narrow comfort zone and are not afraid to let us know when we've stepped out of it.

* You will only sleep in my arms (not your dads for the most part), in a wrap/carrier, in the car or in the stroller during the day.   You often have to cry through my showers, because, sorry- mama needs a shower sometimes.

* You are a bit difficult to get to bed at night.  You like to fall asleep on the boob, but the second you are moved, you jolt awake with smiles and wide eyes.  That's so not cool.  You have to be put down to sleep multiple times.  In fact, I'm writing this between those times.  It's a bit frustrating.

* You seem to have some acid reflux/gas/inner issues.  You writhe and moan after many feedings and often wake up after a short period of time due to these issues.  

But now... on to the flip side of all those things.

* You smile the biggest, cutest smiles.  You coo.  You even laugh or chuckle sometimes (we think).  The chuckle comes as some pretty funny times too.

* You enjoy music.  Your dad sings to you.  Your grandpa sings to you.  Your mom kinda sings to you while making up verses/words that don't rhyme.  When people sign to you, you are generally content.

* You are starting to "sit" in our laps and watch the world.  You hold your head up and look around for longer and longer each day.  Today, we caught video of you in your Bumbo chair.  You actually seemed to enjoy it.

* You love the outdoors.  If/When you are fussy, once we go outside, you generally stop.

* You pet your dog.  When Sibley comes near you, I take your hand and pet her.  You both seem to like this.

* You love to be out and about.  Most of the time you crash and go to sleep, but you seem to be much more settled when we are out and about.  You have many people around us fooled... they think you are so quiet and chill... but you let us know differently at home.

Since my last letter, we celebrated Thanksgiving with the Peters family.  Uncle Brett and Aunt Jody came from South Bend.  They are a little weary of babies (I think) but you still got a little cuddle time in with them (while you were quiet).  You went out on your first disc golf outing on Thanksgiving Day.  I wore you in a carrier and we worked with Sibley while your dad, Brett and Jody played disc.  You were sleeping throughout much of social hour, but the second (literally, the second) I sat down at the Thanksgiving Dinner table, you started to wail... so your dad and I ate dinner at the kitchen counter while I swayed back and forth to keep you quiet.

Just an FYI... Your stats at your 2 month appointment:

13 lbs. 9 oz- 96th percentile (PS.  I think these percentiles are stupid, but whatever)

24.5 inches long- 98th percentile

Your head circumference was 40 cm- 66th percentile.

I guess you are going to be one big boy with your mama's peanut head.  Good Lord!

Even though you are fickle thing, we love you dearly.  Your soft chubby cheeks are perfect for nuzzling.  Your big hands and feet are perfect lint traps.  Your smile lights my world.

Love,

Your mama

Booty

Does this picture make my butt look big??

Oh, just adorable???  That's what I thought.

Peace out,

Cassius

Thanksgiving

There is so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.  It's my favorite holiday because it's all about family and food... two of my favorites.  It turned out to be one of my favorite weekends ever.  Here's a rundown:

The weekend began on Tuesday for me when Cassius and I went over to Moraga to make some desserts for the weekend.  Sue and I made a Caramel Apple Pie and Pumpkin Ice Cream pie.  Cash was in the wrap the entire time- sleeping, of course.

Brett and Jody arrived that night.

Wednesday, Brett, Jody and Sue picked Cash and I up and we all went to Berkeley.  First stop was Cultured- the Pickle Shop.  Brett and Jody (and Sue) love exotic food, so they enjoyed all the fermented stuff.  I tried a dill pickle, but that was it.  Cash slept through the entire thing.  After the pickle shop, we headed to my kind of shop- Ici, the ice cream shop!

I had one of the best ice creams ever- Brown Sugar Oatmeal Raisin.  So delicious!  Cash slept and ate in the sling the entire time!

Matt met us in Moraga for lamb meatballs (can you see a food theme here?) while I enjoyed my Mango sausage since lamb is not on my favorite list.  Still, it was a great time and enjoyed the Caramel Apple Pie a day early- yummy!

Thursday we enjoyed a morning together, and then headed back over to Moraga for a round of disc golf and Thanksgiving with the Bennetts and the Robbins.  Chuck and Marby's son is engaged and Beth and Collin are pregnant with a boy!  Yeah!  The food was delicious but Cash didn't really want to cooperate at the table!  He woke up just as we were sitting down, so Matt and I ate in the kitchen and I swayed and walked to keep Cash quiet.  After some Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream (amazing!), we headed home.


Friday, Matt and Brett went into the city with Bacony to play disc golf at Golden Gate Park while Jody and I went up to the Glenview to get pedicures!  We both got variations of red- which is a rarity for me, but festive none the less.  Sue stayed at home with Cash, where he proceeded to sleep in her arms the entire time!  We went back over to Moraga for leftovers and then came home and crashed.

On Saturday, we went to Pacifica to the beach and the pier. It was Cash's 2nd trip to the beach since his birth and his first to the pier and he, again, slept the entire time.  We finished off the evening with Sushi at Samurai Sushi Boat.  Cash was actually awake for the entire time and content looking at the lights.  At Samurai, they sing dim the lights and play some funky music to celebrate people's birthday.... after the 1st celebration, the waitress came by and was worried about him, but he did just fine. 

Sunday was a lazy day at home filled with sleeping in, a bit of shopping and putzing around the house.... A perfect and busy weekend, in deed.

Cash's Coos

Cash started cooing just the other day and he has quite the repetoire already.  I was able to capture a few of the sounds on video... of course he was on his changing table thingy... his go-to happy place.

It just melts my heart :)

1 month

Dear Cassius,

It is my intention to write you a little letter each month... a love letter of sorts and to document your life.

You are now 1 month old. It's been a great month getting to know you. It seems like a distant memory that you were in my belly. It doesn't seem that you've established any kind of schedule that I can tell but we are getting to know what you like. Here goes:

* Being nudey on the changing table. It seems you like to look around without your pants on. In the last week, you've decided that you don't like a dirty or wet diaper- which is a change from the first few weeks. Maybe you are just trying to get undressed?

* Eating. You are now 11 lbs. You love boobs (or at least mine). If all else fails to calm you, the boobs will usually do the trick. You also tried the bottle for the first time in the last week. Once you realized there was food inside, you seemed more into it. You drank 2 oz for your dad last night and he was more than tickled.

* Being worn in various carriers. This might have something to do with boobs, but I don't think so as you like to be worn by your dad too (and he doesn't have boobs, just FYI). Thus far you've been worn by many people including Brooke, Abby, Grandma Peters, Grandpa Peters and of course, Dad and Mom. You like to face out and look at the world but you also love facing inward and falling asleep. In fact, you are asleep in the wrap as I type.

* Being outside. Maybe it's the fresh air or all the new sites and sounds (and smells) but you seem to like it outside. We've gone on many walks as a family but perhaps the most special is the mornings that you walk with your Dad. He takes you out on a daily basis so that your Mom can get a few more minutes of sleep. You guys walk all around the neighborhood... My guess is that he's talking or singing to you the entire time.

Speaking of sleeping... you are just starting to sleep more during the night. Last night we had our first 5 hour stretch of time followed by a 3 hour stretch. Thanks Cassius! I seem to have a hard time getting you to go to sleep and stay asleep but your Dad is a pro. He has the sleepy touch in that way.

It seems that gas gets in your way a lot. It gets in our way too since we don't really know how to get it out of you. We're trying gripe water and other things. Bicycling your legs seems to help... or it helps push the farts out anyway.

Speaking of farts... although you do that a lot, farting hasn't made you smile, but we have. Grandma, Grandpa, Mom and Dad have each gotten 1 smile from you so far... and we can't wait to see some more from those chubby little cheeks and cute little lips.

And finally... speaking of body parts... You've got your Mom's chin (actually your Great-Grandpa Dohlman's chin) and your Dad's eyes. So far, your eyes are a dark steel grey/blue and we are just waiting to see what color they will be!

Cassius D., you are the love of my life (along with your dad and your dog, Sibley). I can't wait to watch you grow up to be a little boy. Welcome baby!

Love,

Your Mama

Back to "Normal"

It's been just over 3 weeks since Cassius was born and things "down under" are just getting back to normal. Not having sex normal, but not alien feeling anymore.

I went on a few walks in the first week after having him, which left me feeling "heavy" to say the least. It felt like a giant weight was pulling down on my vagina/uterus/?? and it was not a nice feeling.

The bleeding is finally down to "not much" which is an improvement from marble (and sometimes bigger) clots and regular bleeding.

I can finally walk and sit down and stand up and lie down with normal feeling.

I was finally able to do some trimming without being frightened.

These are things that no one told me about. So I'm telling whomever is going to listen. Here's my advice for new moms in the vagina department.

1) 2 weeks or so before your due date: Trim. If you are at all used to being trimmed below, have someone help you now for you certainly won't want anyone (even yourself) touching anything in the general vicinity for quite some time. This becomes a problem because of a fore mentioned bleeding. It's gets cakey and gooey and gross if there is excess.... so recruit someone to help you. Also, holy cow, batman... this area now seems ginormous after not seeing it for so long. Much bigger area then I remembered!

2) Don't get out of bed/off the couch/up from the chair except to go to the bathroom for the first week... no matter how good you feel, the farthest you should travel is 30 feet. If you need to get outside, sit on the front step or on the back porch or whatever... but dont' travel far. The more you rest now, the better you'll feel later and the sooner you'll be able to resume "normal" activity (of walking across the street and through a parking lot).

3) Sitz baths are your friend. You can buy the fancy ones or use epsom salts... but do what you need to do (ask for help) to sit in the tub for 10 minutes a day. This helped tremendously and wasn't that big of a pain. I read a magazine and was able to leave my shirt on half the time (undressing is such a hassle!). I even was able to breastfeed while sitting in the tub all for the sake of healing the va-jay-jay.

4) Not sure if this is recommended, but if you get itchy/red/rawish... use your baby's diaper rash cream. It feels good.