We caved. We are not true Ferber advocates. The first few days were okay, not horrible and they seemed to work. Then the crying continued, and continued and it didn't get better. Scratch the Ferber method- it wasn't working. Or maybe it was, but I couldn't stand the crying for days on end. I was willing to try it for a few hours for a few days... but then, no more, that's too much for a 3 month old.
So, we went to a more gentle method and it's working like a charm. I think the increase in crying might have been due to a growth spurt but none the less, the gentleness is working better for us.
He still goes down like a rockstar. We change him into pajamas, we read a book (if he's not demanding the boob) and then he nurses. He nurses until he falls asleep or fusses to be done and then in the crib he goes (with a smooch on the forehead). Tonight, he went into his crib wide awake (but sleepy) and he went to sleep in less than 5 minutes. The last few nights he's been waking between 1-3 times a night for full feeds and then back to sleep with barely a whimper.
The "rule" is that he's allowed into our bed after 6am- to snuggle aka feed and fall back asleep. We love it. We are getting decent sleep. We love our little man (not that we didn't, but man, that sleep craziness is maddening!)
I haven't been able to pinpoint many of your first because they sneak up on me. You started to smile around 5 weeks, but it was a half smile and it wasn't consistent... then 6 weeks came along and you started smiling all the time, but there wasn't really a first. Same thing happened with your laugh. You started to coo and make noises and a laugh was in there somewhere, but it wasn't necessarily elicited... but....
Yesterday, January 16th, you giggled for the first time. The first occasion was on the changing table when I was tickling your belly and shaking your legs. The second was playing peek-a-boo. Your dad was holding you, facing out. He'd turn you around so that you would see me and you'd giggle. It was too cute!
The photo above is of Cash not giggling. I woke him up from a nap in his crib because I was trying to take a picture of him reeeallly close up. Bad mama.
Read Ask Moxie today and someone commented that they were glad they documented via a blog so they could remember those tough times (and the dates/times they happened).
Since last Friday, we've been working on sleep training with Cash (13 weeks/3 months). Before then, we were starting to see patterns in the co-sleeper and in bed with us. Matt was also starting to get concerned with space in the bed and that Cash might fall out/off when he was on the outside in order to feed on that side. I was concerned because he would sleep for 5 hours, then wake every 1 or 2 after that to nurse back to sleep (even though I knew he didn't "need" the feeding). Although I didn't mind sharing my space in bed, my back was starting to hurt from arching it when he kicked my legs (I hate my legs/feet being touched at night).
Friday was his first night in the crib and right now (it's Tuesday), the details are blurry (already). I started to read Ferber on Sunday and on Monday night we started the "cry it out" method and actually followed it (and didn't cave and bring him to bed, or bounce him, or try to soothe him back to sleep).
Since I can actually remember the details of the night... here goes:
He wanted to go to sleep around 7:30, so we read a book (Good Night Gorilla) and he nursed. I put him down asleep but he woke/stirred when I put him in the crib. He stirred/whimpered for about 3-4 minutes and was asleep. Score! He slept like a champ- until about 11:30pm. We let him cry, in his crib, only going in to comfort him on the progressive waiting approach (it ended up being up to about 20 minutes between comforting attempts because he would often quiet down for 3-4 minutes and then start back up again). He cried (off and on) until 1pm. Then I fed him (per his "normal" routine pre sleep training) and he put him back in his bed (he was passed out). He slept until 4:20 or so and then woke crying. Again, progressive waiting to comfort and he was back asleep by 5:10. He woke (no crying, just a little whimper) at 7:15. I went up to get him- and got the. biggest. smile. Good Morning!
Tonight's the second night of hard core Ferber method, and it's going well. I put him down (totally not asleep tonight, but we went through our night time routine, but he was being feisty with the boob) and he cried for about 6 minutes, and then he passed out. It's now been 2 hours, and he's still asleep.
The funny thing is that I feel great. I keep thinking I should feel guilt, I should be looking for or seeing signs that I am breaking trust with my child, that he is going to hate me or not want to be near me or something. But I don't. I feel like a new mom- invogorated and excited to be with my kid. Excited for bedtime. Excited for morning. Even looking forward to that middle of the night feeding.
I never thought I would be that parent who would let their child cry it out, let alone at 3 months old. It's still too early to shout from the rooftops, but damn, I feel great about this. Naptime is a different story, but I feel confident that we can work on that too.... when he/we are ready.
Here's to many good nights and good mornings and good days.
3 months seems like forever now. You are growing more and more each day. New movements, new laughs, and new cries (but they are still incredibly loud).
You survived your first plane ride and your first visit to Iowa in December and you did great! The plane trips were a piece of cake for you, but you aren't going to fit on my lap much longer. You loved up on your Mimi Tanner and you were carried around a ton by Karsyn and Elle.
You are now sitting up a lot more. You love to sit on my lap after eating and watch the world around you- especially if there are babies nearby. You can sit up almost unassisted for a few seconds before you fall forward or to the side. You just tried your Jonny Jump-up the other day and I think you really dig the new vantage point. From there, you can watch your parents' crazy dances and your dog.
You are also moving your hands more and sucking on them. You squeal in delight, you squeal to talk, and you babble a ton. You had a doctor's appointment this morning and you rolled over when I put you on your tummy. I'm not sure if it was because the table was slanted or what, but you did it with ease from both sides. I'm putting you to the test when you get home.
Speaking of getting home, you are now spending a few hours with Lyndsie and Haven each week in preparation for February when you are hopefully going to be spending a whole day there while I go to work. You seem to like it. I just hope you don't give Lyndsie too much trouble.
Your smiles are as big as ever. You really, really love your mama right now... and for some reason, you seem to scream at your dad when your mom is around. But if you are with him solo, you two have a great time together.
OH.... and big news!!!! You started to sleep in your crib, in your room, all by yourself. I'm not convinced we are there 100%, but you slept for most of the night last night in your room. I hooked up the ipod and you listened to the likes of Norah Jones, Jerry Garcia and David Gray as you snoozed. Your dad insisted we hang the 100 Dead Songs poster above your bed, so we did that last night. Maybe you'll start having some psycadelic dreams soon?
Cassius, you are a joy in my life. I love you more and more each day. I think I can say that will be true for a long time to come.
So it's offcially the 3 month anniversary of your birth, and although I should be writing you your 3 month letter, I'm going to try to get caught up and recap the holidays, before they get a little blurry (and boy do things get blurry past 20 minutes (or 5 minutes) ago).
Your first holiday season is one to remember (and you won't and I don't remember it all), but it was jam-packed.
We ventured to Iowa on your first airplane ride to see your Mimi and had all kinds of plans to see other people in your life, but the weather didn't cooperate. So you got to meet your cousins Karsyn and Kinley and you got to spend some time with Mimi, Vic an Elle. You did manage to see Boots and Charlee but you slept through most of that. You were carried around by just about everyone, including Karsyn (though you are practically half her size). You trampled through the snow to walk the crazy dogs, you got your picture taken outside while huge, white, fluffy snowflakes danced around us, you fell asleep in your cousin's swing with your arms gripping the sides (it was too cute), you slept on an air mattress for the first time, and you opened your first presents (and you weren't interested in the slightest).
Our trip back to California was fantastically uneventful after all kinds of delays and issues, but we made it back and your schedule finally got back on track. Brett and Jody arrived and the whirlwind of time with the family began. You spent a full day with your Grandma Peters and Great Aunt Sheryl and a full day with your dad (and he loved every minute of it and raved how fun it was!) while I worked. You went on a crazy hike (it was crazy long for your mom, at least) at Briones, you visited Uncle Yu's for the first time and you made it to Course #4 of New Year's Eve before your dad insisited that we go home.
You did get a few cool toys to play with and your toy "box" is nearly full... and that's about all I can remember. Here's to a great 2010!
This might be a blog about parenting, pregnancy, my life or my opinions... I haven't really decided. I just know that it's a place to put my thoughts and things I want to remember when the Alzheimer's kicks in. Updates will come not too frequently and of random nature.